Strength
by TimesUnfetteredImaginationBomb
Summary: To be in love with someone who constantly dissappears is no easy matter. You constantly wait for their return and when they do it feels like such a short time before they have to go again. You need strength to love someone like that but sometimes you get pushed too far.
1. High Up in a Tree

**AN: Yo so I've been on a roll today with my writing :) And I've decided to make this a little longer. I kin of figured I could go more in depth for each line of the poem that way there'd be some kind of background story to it. Enjoy~**

High up in a tree

Every time I left a building I always looked up towards the trees; always hoping to see something different when I looked up. But every time I did I saw the same damn green leaves on the same damn trees. It crushed me that when I looked up I almost never saw him there. It broke me to not know if he'd ever come back again, if I'd ever see him again.

It makes me hate trees so much to know that they're part of my pain. They make everything worse. They tell me how much time has passed. How lonely I am that I can't enjoy each passing season without him. I want to leave. To go to the city and hide inside a building so high up I won't ever have to see a tree again.

But I know that won't work. He'd follow me up there. I know he would. And….let's face it, I'm hooked. I'd never be able to leave, not without him knowing where I'd go. No I wouldn't ever chance that. But sometimes….I wish I could.

***EDIT!* AN: Okay so what's going to happen is I'm going to write the story and then post the poem up~ That way people won't know what's going to happen ;p also I'll be changing it so if any of you read the original you won't _actually_ know what's going to happen.**


	2. Looking Down Upon Me

Looking down upon me

There are so many things about him that irritate me. He'll leave for weeks, months at a time and I'll never hear a word. When he's here sometimes the only thing I hear is a scoffed "Hn." He'll never really say that I mean anything to him. And he refuses to let me become involved in any aspect of his life. I can't talk to his friends – who he assures know nothing about me – I can't acknowledge that I know about demons, and I most certainly cannot say a word about him or that I even know him to anyone – _ever_.

But the thing that really gets to me is the one thing I know he can't help. The one thing he'll never really be able to change no matter how much I beg. It's the fact that I'll never be an equal in his eyes – not even close.

I'm somewhere above scum and lowly humans but I'm nowhere close to holding any of the respect or standing that his friends hold. I guess I should've known that it would never change since the moment I met him.

In fact, the first time I met him, he sneered, called me a disgusting human, and then refused to acknowledge me for the rest of the evening. Of course that changed with time, a LOT of time, but I still feel as if I'm merely a pet. Something he has some regard to, in that he would hopefully miss me when I'm gone, but that he could and would get over rather quickly.

I know enough about him that he would protect me from danger but…I also know he would not fight with me or for me in the same way he does with his comrades. I am merely an existence to him and though he doesn't say it out loud I know it's true. I know it from the way he can leave so easily. From the way his eyes almost always hold some kind of disgust, hidden far away behind his cold exterior, at my weakness.

And while he may not say it out loud and I could be merely exaggerating, I know it to be true in my heart. It is a heartbreaking and gut-wrenching feeling to know that I'll never truly hold his heart. It makes me want to stop; stop my feelings, stop his visits, and stop my need to see him. I want to stop everything and _leave_. Leave to a place so far away he would never find me….But I can't.

If you've ever tried to rip your heart and crush it into a pile of sand…you'd understand that it can't be done.


	3. I know that you're there

**AN: I know I shouldn't be focusing on this fanfiction when I have others I should be more devoted too...but this one just keeps giving me inspiration~ So just review tell me what you think and I'll hopefully actually be adding a plot line to this soon enough.**

I know that you're there

I've noticed that sometimes he comes back and silently watches. I know he's there and I wonder if he thinks me so weak as to not be able to sense his presence. If there is anything in this world that I am good at….it's knowing when he is near me.

The atmosphere changes – the air becomes heavy and constricting and I can _feel_ him. So close yet so far away. My lungs get heavy and it's harder to breath. I can feel my fingers shake in excitement and no matter how hard I try to stop it I'll always smile in relief.

Relief that he's well, relief that he's so close by…. And relief in knowing that he still remembers me enough to visit.

But I'm so confused. I don't know why he sometimes visits but refuses to _bless_ me with his presence. Just standing in the background and watching. Ignorant to the fact that I know he's there. It must be because of my weakness, my humanity.

Sometimes I dream and wish of being able to become stronger. To become something that would at least gain some sort of inkling of respect. But is there even a way for a human, something so very weak and frail, to even be able to compare to a demon? Is there even a way for scum to be anything other than dirt under a stronger man's shoes? If there was I'd do it. I'd probably do anything to make him stay with me. I was so far lost in my obsession that I would be willing to lose myself if it gave me even a small almost nonexistent chance of gaining a part of him. Why?

Because while I know when he's here. While I can feel him watching me. When he leaves…I never know if he'll be back.


	4. Yet sometimes it's just me and the air

**AN: Yo - I don't know why I like writing this story - I'm sure it's horrible. Anyways just review and let me know if you life it or hate it~ Enjoy :D**

_Yet sometimes it's just me and the air_

You've left again and life's going on. It might surprise you that I do have a life outside of waiting for you. I've graduated top of my class and am the youngest partner in one of the largest businesses in the city… but you don't care about that do you Hiei? No, you care about strength – true strength. You could kill hundreds of humans at once if you wanted to and what can I do? Nothing so grand. But you'd be surprised to know that my skills have taken me to a…surprising place to say the least. Apparently I've generated enough profit for the company as acting CEO that the owner has decided to invite me to a little club.

It's nothing special – just a meeting between some of the top executives of the country. Funny thing is that the club was shut down a couple years ago due to unfortunate circumstances where all of the members were killed. Normally I wouldn't go but…they've offered me something that I can't refuse. You see I feel your absences just as much as I feel when you're near me. The air's lighter but it's so empty.

They say you've heard of the club before – that you were part of the reason it was originally terminated. I've heard that you had a hand in killing some of the members. I wonder though, will you kill me now that I've decided to join their little group? I wonder if that's such a bad thing. If you kill me it'll stop won't it? This aching feeling in my chest. It'll stop pulsing with grief and worry and heartache as soon as you're near. And you have to be close to kill me don't you? I want it to stop. Killing me will do that, won't it? ... One way or the other though, we'll be seeing each other soon. Whether it's one of your little visits or because of the club. You remember it don't you? The black black club I mean. You remember them don't you? Well now…maybe you'll start to remember me.


End file.
